I remember when I first saw a magic show. An ordinary looking man dressed in those clothes that a magician must wear, mesmerizing [or trying to] a bunch of kids with his animated actions. I must have been six or seven. Thrilled….I was!! How a series of simple tricks opened a wonderland for me!! And I wasn’t the only one. I had a strong enough logical mind to know that they were all tricks, immense magical ones, but still…tricks. But I still trailed with the ‘choo mantar’ it did to my heart. I wished to….I wanted to.
I wonder why one grows up to start with. Why does the mind start finding out what trick brought out the pigeon from an empty hat. Can we stay with the magic? Can we see the small little magic tricks life blesses us with? Can we spare ourselves from the do’s and don’ts of the goddamn mind? Can we live a magic called life?
I have been wandering all over Bangalore city for a month now. I lived at one end and literally crossed the city twice a day. My friend blessed me with a door to door lift. They were all fun rides except the back ache they blessed me with. Once on a traffic signal I saw a toddler sitting on a bike with it’s back to the rider. [It’s one of the funniest and cutest sights I have seen. The child sees everyone going right with him but just in another direction!] I think it was a girl. She was dressed like a boy; the haircut too gave no trace of the child’s future femininity. It was just a pair of danglers in her [Oh I am sure it was a girl!!] ears and a pair of socks with frills that convinced me that she was a girl. She was looking around with her nose running constantly. She had a handkerchief pinned to her shirt, but she never found it worthy enough to do the honor of keeping her face clean. She preferred using her hands instead. She was happy with the sticky thing all over her face. I stared at her with awe. She lived for herself. [MY nose, MY hands, hello!! And…..My hanky. it’s my choice whether to use it or not!!] Suddenly she saw me staring at her. She blushed. A half hazard smile struck. Two eyes turned down, two tiny hands searched the hanky and next time the silly piece of cloth replaced the hands. I hated myself. I stole the magic in her life. A thing called ‘socially appropriate behavior’ crept in right there. And I was the sadist exposing the magician’s tricks.
Magic comes my way all the time. Do I see it? Do I welcome it? Or do I turn a blind eye and deaf ear thinking that I can’t ‘afford’ seeing or hearing it? Do I allow myself to get carried away seeing something happening to me? Or do I step back and break the spell before it touches me? Have I set categories already? This is the magic I can let myself go with. This is the magic I must keep away from. Is such a thing a magic to start with? One simple dinner, one simple ride brings the magician to my door, do I open it? Or I close it right away saying ‘it’s too late..Not the right time’??? …’
I long for the abra-ka-dabra who had once put a spell on me when I was six. I knew they were tricks and I didn’t want to see them. I lived that magic. I seek the strength in me to be weak enough to get swept off…….by this magic called ‘LIFE”
I wonder why one grows up to start with. Why does the mind start finding out what trick brought out the pigeon from an empty hat. Can we stay with the magic? Can we see the small little magic tricks life blesses us with? Can we spare ourselves from the do’s and don’ts of the goddamn mind? Can we live a magic called life?
I have been wandering all over Bangalore city for a month now. I lived at one end and literally crossed the city twice a day. My friend blessed me with a door to door lift. They were all fun rides except the back ache they blessed me with. Once on a traffic signal I saw a toddler sitting on a bike with it’s back to the rider. [It’s one of the funniest and cutest sights I have seen. The child sees everyone going right with him but just in another direction!] I think it was a girl. She was dressed like a boy; the haircut too gave no trace of the child’s future femininity. It was just a pair of danglers in her [Oh I am sure it was a girl!!] ears and a pair of socks with frills that convinced me that she was a girl. She was looking around with her nose running constantly. She had a handkerchief pinned to her shirt, but she never found it worthy enough to do the honor of keeping her face clean. She preferred using her hands instead. She was happy with the sticky thing all over her face. I stared at her with awe. She lived for herself. [MY nose, MY hands, hello!! And…..My hanky. it’s my choice whether to use it or not!!] Suddenly she saw me staring at her. She blushed. A half hazard smile struck. Two eyes turned down, two tiny hands searched the hanky and next time the silly piece of cloth replaced the hands. I hated myself. I stole the magic in her life. A thing called ‘socially appropriate behavior’ crept in right there. And I was the sadist exposing the magician’s tricks.
Magic comes my way all the time. Do I see it? Do I welcome it? Or do I turn a blind eye and deaf ear thinking that I can’t ‘afford’ seeing or hearing it? Do I allow myself to get carried away seeing something happening to me? Or do I step back and break the spell before it touches me? Have I set categories already? This is the magic I can let myself go with. This is the magic I must keep away from. Is such a thing a magic to start with? One simple dinner, one simple ride brings the magician to my door, do I open it? Or I close it right away saying ‘it’s too late..Not the right time’??? …’
I long for the abra-ka-dabra who had once put a spell on me when I was six. I knew they were tricks and I didn’t want to see them. I lived that magic. I seek the strength in me to be weak enough to get swept off…….by this magic called ‘LIFE”
4 comments:
enjoy it if u feel u can take the level of carefreeness to those unimaginable heights !!! for some others like me, thats the pleasure i had to give up very early in life...and i dont regret it ! the magic still enters in other forms...u just gotta find what suits you...
well...after reading my own comment...yes i did realize...damn...i could do with a li'l more of appreciation cant i !!!
ur line of thought does impress me...sometimes im finding new things to write on u know..seems like u dont have to do that kinda effort..finding topics, stories come naturally it seems to you...great work ya...today is ur last day in blore !!! enzzzooooyyy it....
Now, you gotta live upto ur promise..Hope Pune gives u more time for urself than Bangalore did :-)
Vivid! Thats how you have written it! I almost saw that pretty lil'thing sitting there and blushing!!!
And about magic gal, I think we do not lose it at all! It just begins to manifest in different manner. The choo mantar - as we grow older - is a phone call bringing in the happy news about job, baby, somebody's wedding, graduation, and the goosebumps it manages to give you. It is that flutter of your heart when it swells with pride for your child! It is water in your eyes after scaling an impossible height!! THAT's magic!! Just a different form but the saaame ol'choomantarrrr!!
And if it is not magic then tell me what it is that happens to us when we hear 'jana gana mana'??!! As long as we don't lose this, I guess we are growing older okay, right?! :)
I agree with u Aditi..what i mean is....are we still capable of 'feeling' that choo mantar with the same naivety and sensitivity?? MAGIC is all around us...do we get tricked by it even now??
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