Chicken run

I have been wondering lately..what is it that makes one write a blog? Is it an inner compulsion to express oneself? Is it habit? Is it the feeling of being read/appreciated/acknowledged by those friends in the web world? Or is it re-assuring oneself that one can write? I guess it is all of it. I have not been writing for almost three years now. [Not been writing a blog I mean] I don’t know why? Did I not feel all that I have stated above? Well…I did feel that. Was I too lazy? [well..that I am..always was..] Was I not worried of being forgotten/overlooked/ignored? [Somehow that never worried me]

Bottom line is, I don’t know why I did not write for three years and I don’t know why I am writing now. And I don’t want to know.

Sometimes I feel a little chicken dancing in my head. Imagine you have organized your papers properly on your study table. Travel blogs in one pile, personal writings in another, recipes in another pile, official paper work in one. And a chick starts dancing all over. It is all mixed up, it’s all messed up. You get furious but you can’t be angry on that little thing, you love the way it dances and throws your papers around. You love to see its tiny legs tearing the papers away. You love to see the happiness in its little body.

I feel that in my mind. I get dis-oriented. I get dis-organized. It’s a mess. And I am the little chick messing myself up. I am the one who has organized it all and I am the one dancing on it.

I love this feeling. It scares the hell out of me. I get set to figure out what it is all about. What it is meant to be. I try to find a mirror to look at myself all over again. I struggle to find out what I am looking for. Every time I feel ‘this is it’! Now I know all. But the little chicken re-visits. Thank God for sending him.

Is that why I am blogging?? Dunno…Ask the chicken!!